Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant LordofPhoenixDawnUnited States Groups :iconshow-my-colors: SHOW-MY-COLORS
Show My Colors!!
Recent Activity
Deviant for 8 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 143 Deviations 1,766 Comments 20,214 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Rain sweet rain wash away the pain,
Let us all be free of last year's drain,
Open our eyes to the lessons learned,
Let us see the truth we earned.
Be there to clear the rage, hurt, and sorrow,
So we can see a better tomorrow.
Reflect the light of the growing sun,
And know our trials for now are done.
Be true to the Earth you hold Divine,
For in truth our destinies intertwine.
Stand tall and ask for truth and not fear,
Be not afraid of the lessons so near.
The suffering given is not the end,
For there is more around the bend.
The stars shine in darkest night,
To shed upon the brightest light.
To show us all that in darkest day
We are gifted to find our way.
Let the truth guide us far and wide,
So we don't run in fear or hide.
:iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 1 1
Rabbit :iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 15 7
Yin and Yang
Yin or Yang, it took so long,
To write this freaking song.
The black and white, the day or night,
Why is it I must choose this fight?
The arm so strong, the path is set,
My hand is dealt, I've made my bet.
The side of none and the side of all,
Why is it I must make this call?
To walk forth or run in fear,
The real path is never so clear,
As it is right here and now,
I must follow the eternal Dao.
The Yin and Yang, the endless song,
The way it has been all along.
No good or bad can dance alone,
And one can't go on their own,
Down the path of truest sight,
Where there is both dark and light.
The truth is seen, the cure is found,
That all can exist at once profound.
But in times of need, times of loss,
One can't choose which line to cross.
Hold it in, or let it out,
In truth we can't do without.
With both dark and light, Yin and Yang,
We know within it all we belong.
:iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 3 1
Desolation come to the sky,
On bloody wings it dares to fly,
With strokes of red and strokes of black,
There truly is no going back.
The fires of hell come in rain,
The burning cinders cause the pain.
Run you can and hide you must,
For if you don't you'll turn to dust.
Desolation's rage a scream in the night,
As once more she's taken to flight.
Eyes of gold with venomous hate,
For mankind has a wretched fate.
Treasure abounds yet wars remain,
To ensure some feeble king's reign.
She has watched for many long years,
And has shed many sorrowful tears.
With desolation the slate is clean,
And finally the truth can be seen;
No buildings left, no wasted land,
Nothing made by a greedy hand.
She offers a gift, a brand new hope,
So there's no reason to whine or mope.
Desolation's power is fueled by greed,
When mankind plants a corrupted seed.
:iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 11 8
Dragon :iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 41 10
Blackest day, darkest night,
Why is it so hard to see the light?
What makes this path so freaking hard;
Why can't I be handed a different card?
Leaves of green, trees of gold,
Why is it I have been so cold?
What makes me so tired and weak;
Why can't this pain be cured in a week?
Shards of glass, parts of stone,
Why is it I feel so alone?
What makes the truth hurt so much;
Why can't I just have a lover's touch?
Rains of ice, a storm of hail,
Why is it I am still in jail?
What makes my eyes so bloody blind;
Why can't I leave the past behind?
Sands of hell, strands of silk,
Why can't I be made of stronger ilk?
What makes some so tough, others so meek;
Why can't I be less of a freak?
Brightest steel, lightest dawn,
Why is it so hard to freaking move on?
What makes me want, envy, and whine;
Why can't I love what is already mine?
Fields of red, shields of bronze,
Why is it I can't break these bonds?
What makes it so bloody hard to see;
That what I need is within me?
:iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 5 1
A Message
Winter's dawn, a new day comes,
Blessed past, hailed with warrior drums,
No dread we cast upon this day,
For in the end we know our way.
Deepest sorrows lost and found,
With truth and will our voices sound;
Hail the day of less sacrifice,
For at times I've been far too nice,
Allowing faith to drown in fear,
When all I need is forever near.
Be done with doubt, pain, and strife,
For it is time for me to live my life,
Without worry, stress, doubt, and pain,
Now I know what will keep me sane.
Follow my heart, my mind, my soul,
For they know how to achieve the goal.
Have faith and trust in lights of gold,
And know my love is neither bought nor sold.
With power I grow, with strength I stand,
United at last with the silver strand.
Belief in I, belief in the truest way,
Knowing that he will always stay.
Guided on with my story told,
Never to be lost, alone, or cold.
Fear renounced, rage at long last spent,
With courage now, a message sent:
'To be forever gifted with the sight
To know your way
:iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 5 8
Silver Strand
I am faithful,I am strong;
I know right where I belong.
Here to help but only so much,
With myself I wish to touch,
The world around me, so bright and still.
When I want it I'll have my fill;
Taste the nectar, the wine so red,
No longer will I move forth with dread.
Power lost, control false and forgotten,
The rules are simple, don't be so rotten.
Be true within and strong without,
And know deeply what's worth crying about.
Waste not my life on bitter sorrow,
A dread of loss, a fear of tomorrow.
With sunlit skies, a guiding hand,
I will find strength in the silver strand,
Held with passion, truth, and spirit.
Knowing if only I'd listen I will hear it,
The songs of those who have gone before,
And fell due to sickness, strife, and war;
Their lessons plenty, their light so bright,
Giving me faith and an endless sight.
A path is made, the heart so true,
Now I know what I must do,
Have faith and don't turn away,
For the silver strand will guide the way.
:iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 3 1
Jealousy's Pain
Dancing on a cloud of green,
The life I live, so hurtful and mean.
The ones around me who I adore,
I feel at times to be such a chore.
Their love so clear yet so far,
The pain that's caused, a deepening scar,
Jealousy felt, unable to stop and see,
What in all truth it's doing to me.
Cutting me into tiny little pieces,
Making me wish for when it finally ceases,
The blood, the rage, the guilt once more,
Makes it hurt straight to the core;
The wound so vast, a crater of red
When will it be over, must I be dead?
Is there a way to make them know,
That what goes green makes red flow?
The blood of spirit, of suffering still,
Despite all I do, despite a strong will.
In my darkest corner I feel pure hate,
And want their heart cut upon a plate,
Ripped out and split so that they learn,
With envious green this is what they earn.
Their endless desire to mess with fire,
Only to make their problems seem more dire.
With such unadulterated rage
I'm shocked I haven't burned this page O_O
In the end I ho
:iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 2 0
World of Pain
Within this world I created,
The hatred has permeated,
The care, the heart, the soul,
And turned it to molten coal.
It has made me suffer on,
Turned me into anger's little pawn;
With rage ruling the throne,
There's not much I can do on my own.
Without the red in my eyes,
I look up to see starry skies,
And cry for days long ago,
When I could just go with the flow.
It hurts so much to be this mad;
For many a month it wasn't so bad,
Until it sat too long ashore,
Too rampant and evil to ignore.
Like a leech upon my chest,
It had long since built a nest,
With guilt, hate, and resentment too.
I was lost, alone, without a clue;
What was happening and what to do,
So that I may be once again new.
To rid myself once and for all,
Of the evil that once made be stand tall.
It gave me hate and I was a bitch,
But no longer will I be a horrible witch,
Wishing ill and bringing sorrow,
No longer will I dread tomorrow.
The karmic debt has been paid,
And so shall a new path be laid.
:iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 10 3
Flame Spirit :iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 6 3 Spirit :iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 2 0
Lost and Alone
Festering, brewing, that hatred looming,
To end the wait, to steal the bait;
Why I oh why must it come so late?
The hope to come, the hate of fate,
The darkness cast, an empty plate,
Clouds block the view of what to do.
They wreck my soul and tear it in two,
The pain severe and so hard to bear;
Why is it so hard to just get there?
The winds of change, ever blowing,
They sweep me away, kept from knowing.
Shadows creep in, threaten to steal,
What little love and hope that I feel.
It is late - as usual - I know,
But where the hell else should I go?
The path is unclear, stifled by fear,
Many ways to go, some so very near.
They mask my eyes, they cover my ear,
They make everything so bloody unclear.
These shadows invade even my dreams,
They curse me, vex me, or so it seems.
Misery and anguish are all that I feel,
When there is no rest for me to steal.
Light is hidden, yet so very bright,
Why is it I seem alone in my plight?
:iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 3 1
I'm writing to you from hell,
A place I know all too well.
It seems so nice at the start,
It soothes even a broken heart.
The gold and silver I see,
Shows me what I should be.
There are no monsters at all,
Except those from within you call.
They dance on your grave,
And kill all that you save.
Make light of your worries,
And ruin pretty snow flurries.
There is no rain, water, or tear,
To be found nestling here.
The castles are of onyx black,
Their hope is to hold you back.
Why else would the sun be red?
If not for the fact I lay in bed.
This hell is mine, so simply said,
Cause in dreams I'm simply dead.
:iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 6 5
We lie awake at night wishing
For that forever day
When we are immortal
With an endless road for play
The songs we hear say it
For we know it's true
When will it be here,
Will we know what to do?
Will there be enough time,
To finally think things through,
Or will I die knowing,
That all things start anew?
Will it hurt or will it be serene,
Or something in between?
Will the roses bleed again,
As they drip with dew?
Death is but a finish line,
To tell us when it's over,
The final race has begun,
Go get your lucky clover!
:iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 7 5
My Last Wish
Within darkness it came,
Far too soon,
It took from me the light,
The shadows-
The vision of happiness gone,
Cut from me,
The wounds came, unrelenting.
He is, lost, forlorn,
My son, yet not.
Love felt,
Tears come,
Once more helpless, caught,
Lost and alone.
He is, filled with scorn
Lost but not - the truth
It kept me sane
Made me try,
To help him, to protect him.
Blood drains still
My eyes ache, my heart yearns
Her face, her last cry
Oh how it burns
Avenge me, mighty one
Do your father proud,
Give not into darkness
Let this not be in vain,
Undo this horrible shroud.
It's cold, like ice,
It hurts but a little.
Tears fall,
Let them help you,
Remember me
Learn from me,
Be better than him
Let love be your shield
Let the wand betray him.
It's dark, I'm spent
My hopes are high
I will be free,
Be with her at last,
My last wish
My dream
Be sure it is done
For you are the chosen one.
:iconlordofphoenixdawn:LordofPhoenixDawn 11 6

Random Favourites

bunny's albino present tree :iconxbuddyforme:XBUDDYFORME 59 17 hollywood jubilee 100 :iconwm3761:wm3761 2 0 flower dance :icondinglaura:dinglaura 144 3 Image :iconjoinjump:joinjump 633 14 double :iconhiliuyun:hiliuyun 390 15 Princess Peacock :iconlittlemangademon:littlemangademon 63 54 Rainbow Guts :iconastra888leddher:astra888leddher 43 5 - Contest - Ceci la Loca - :iconambreakasora:AmbreAkasora 206 57 EOS - Goddess of Dawn :iconeventrue:EVentrue 2,004 59 Legend of the Cryptids - Eleonora :iconkidkidkidkid:kidkidkidkid 1,595 28 LOC - Fantasy Usher White Rabbit EX :iconkidkidkidkid:kidkidkidkid 2,758 57 [revise]Perfect World :iconelda-qd:Elda-QD 1,642 72 Magic song of nature :iconhell-alka:Hell-Alka 1,010 121 Freyja :iconjjlovely:jjlovely 2,544 60 House on the Hill :iconevizora:EviZora 15 0 Dotty Rainbow Flowers :iconiguruwashi:Iguruwashi 6 0




40 deviations

The move, the mountain, and the mayhem

Journal Entry: Thu Aug 27, 2015, 2:54 AM

It has been one hell of a year with so many things going on I have to actually sit here and think before I write to recount them all. I will make a list. Easier that way cause chronology isn't so important as getting it down somewhere.

> Went to first professional convention and I know for sure I'm in the right field because I had more fun there than I would've at ComicCon. Yes, amazing.....since before 2013 I was an avid ComicCon attendee, 7 yrs in a row. That was until tickets became impossible to get and the PR was more valuable than actual fanfare. Plus the cost is horrendous.

> Had my first Thanksgiving party at my place. Being a host is so much different than being a guest and it certainly felt good to give on a holiday where appreciation and good memories matter most. It was also last Thanksgiving at my old place. :(

> I moved in June.  Owner sold house and the 60 day waiting period turned into a 30 day get the fuck out because the staying in limbo and paying two rents was not going to happen. :rage: Plus we found the log cabin/house of our desires and it works. The old place, dubbed Bash an Idiot drive(will never forget that nickname for the street O_O), turned out to be a huge energy waste and it resembled more closely a Fort Knox with walls everywhere(which I wanted at time of move in), easily defensible landscape, but too much chaos. Too close quarters to others, no true privacy from other noise, a busy street nearby, kids everywhere, an inefficient AC that cost a fortune, and a yard that ate 1/3 of our water a month. We paid 60% more in utilities there. It was a great place and I loved it dearly while it lasted but there was just a lot that could be improved and most of it was when we moved out. *Insert expletives here about landlord and his client and I rest my case*. Greed won the day but it was time for us to move on anyway so whatever. Stagnant ad complacent was the energy there for us starting about 2 mon prior to move. It was definitely time for a change. I may have hated the move, still have a bitter taste over it that is slowly fading, but the harsh reality of it was I wouldn't have done as well for myself there and the progress would've stalled. We got out before disaster struck. I am thankful and have made peace with it 90%....the other 10% soon. :wow: (Yes this was biggest material change of year and one I will not soon forget but I do not regret it at all; we had 3 solid good years there with good memories :squee:) Oh and did I mention new place has rabbits, lizards, and a food chain designed to be natural pest control. A dedicated room to do my art, no AC to spend a fortune on, no yard to water, and a quick access to freeway. It works. ^_^ I love my new place and I am finally able to call it home. :wow:

> My sister is finalizing her transition. :squee: The gender re-assignment surgery she has been hoping for happened like yesterday!!!:squee::squee: No more waiting, no more uncertainty; the change will be done. The boy is gone and hopefully with it the rage and bullshit. I hope this hurdle for her is the one that will evolve her into her next phase in life. I have known her for 7 years, almost 8 and I have to say that the evolution so far has been momentous. When I met her she was a he and the propensity to scream, rage, throw things, and act petulant was almost a daily affair. We were both military and had shit to be mad about. Many trials happened with changes in schools, careers, 3 moves, and alot of therapy in the last 7 years to bring her to this point. I have been there the whole way and it has been one hell of a ride. I just hope the future is a lot more heavenly and has less drama. I am so over drama. I am so over live altering transformations and hurdles. I know this will be good for her. It is what she wants and her biggest dream. Now to see her through the recovery and hope more for that fantastic future. :tighthug: Through her trials we are both stronger and I thank every divinity out there for allowing this to happen. :tighthug:

> I have become a mentor, teacher, and advocate of the sword. I don't just do it for myself but now I try and help others to have that bond and foster the old ways before the harshness of modern warfare. Martial arts are more than fighting but inner growth, healing, and a strength of will unbendable by any obstacle. I wouldn't have made it through that move without this. I have gotten my first student and he is getting a sword very much like mine from the same swordsmith who I find to be brilliant. He is gifted and I advocate for him every way I can. Note me if you want to know more. I have found one of my many callings and to be a warrior is one of them. I rarely have back pain, I suffer fewer headaches than ever, and I now have a practice I can turn to that keeps me from popping a cork under stress. Long time coming but finally. It's my soul's truth and I am blessed to have a natural skill with a blade. It is art in and of itself and through it creativity flows. :wow:

> I treated my first patients almost solo this past semester. I have finished almost 3 years of school and I got through the biggest hurdle until boards. I passed the 2nd yr comps with flying colors and I am stoked :squee::squee::squee: I am so happy and I look forward to a year of not worrying much about anything big. I just want to learn, absorb, and help people. I learned so much from the clinic I was in(VA), and though I was suffering major PTSD due to the move(way too many forced moves in my life), I managed to do well and do right by the patients. I learned my true strength and that compartmentalization is a must have skill for a medical practitioner of any kind.

> Last but certainly not least: I HAVE DONE ART!!!!! I have actually pulled out pens and a lineart, (many many linearts) and am actually coloring......YES....amazing :wow: About bloody time after the worst art block ever for near 2 years. I hope to upload a bunch of colored works soon, including many by :iconrachaelm5:. :squee:

Many other smaller things/events happened too:

>Irwindale Ren Fair for first time in 8 yrs for 8th anniversary(FUN!!!!)
>There's a Hobby Lobby here :squee: Yay!!
>A fall that will never be forgotten happened and in hindsight is funny(thank god no complications) People must really learn to stop trying to be Wall-E without the right leverage is all I'll say. :D
>Bought and started reading non school related books again. Law of Attraction books by Esther and Jerry Hicks are my thing right now and they are well written and speak to me on a deep ass level. LOVE them!!! :heart:
>Ran into a freaking crate to do the first substantial damage to my car since I've had it(10 yrs) Bloody crates!!!*Kicks*
>Killed a brown widow 8 legged menace in my garage at new place yesterday and omg talk about facing fears. I will now look closer to ensure an 8 legged being is safe before allowing it to sit 6 inches from my entrance ever again. *heeby jeebies*
>Found serenity once more at the beach and have gone 7 times this year with only one minor sunburn(I don't go before 2pm)
>I have once again found pleasure in bookstores and have returned to my childhood passion of coloring. :D :heart:
>My first blood moon I could stay up for and watch in its entirety. Eclipses are awesome!! Energetically intense but awesome!!!

Lessons learned:

>Defense is one thing but prison is another
>Feeling unsafe in your own home is bad and should be a clue there's a problem
>AC is for wusses and computers; I do fine without it and spend a shit ton less on power bills by like 70%. Yay aloe!!:squee:
>Cats can be trained if everyone is consistent and boundaries are clear, even in a new place
>In order to be able to receive the gifts of the universe one must first be open to them and not obsessing over what they don't have, don't want, or lack. I am learning this the hard way and this day marks the day of a new way of thinking. I will not think of what I don't have and instead look at what I do, appreciate it, and hope/manifest/create what I do want. :D

Long I know but here are some features to brighten your day and make your eyes hurt less. The tl:dr version is the last year has been a bitch and a lot of good has happened and though at first some was bad and I was terrified, suffering, and grieving in June and July I have found my center once more and now art can once again come through the unlocked door. (<<<see I rhymed :squee). Ok ok ok my jabbering butt needs to hunt down features..............*comes back with these*:

Flamma Vitae digicolor by rachaelm5Flow by Two-TWheel Of Life by AmberCrystalElfPhoenix design2 background by amorphisss
Encroaching Dawn by rachaelm5The Future is Listening by Adolin-of-LightLord of the Dragons by Grafit-art
Sky Battle by shiny-shadows-ArtDouble Bubble Trouble by wolfepawautumn by erool
The Purple Rose by SansaXIXPurple Rain by feimoFibonacci Spiral Self-Portrait by PaintMyWorldRainbow

  • Listening to: Silence
  • Reading: School stuff
  • Watching: Being Human
  • Playing: Guildwars 2/Forsaken World
  • Eating: Aloe like candy
  • Drinking: Red Wine


Add a Comment:
EmilyCammisa Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2017  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the fav! :hug:
Shadoweddancer Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2017   General Artist
annewipf Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2016
Thank you for the watch!  Reindeer-sleigh-smiley-emoticon by Euselia
JCmyDrug Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
thank you for adding my works to your collection Love Hug
i´m happy , yeah Woohooooo! 
Meztli72 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday!!! :hug: :aww: :dance: Rainbow Striped Spinning Star a cow can dance better than u 
Add a Comment: