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The move, the mountain, and the mayhem

Journal Entry: Thu Aug 27, 2015, 2:54 AM

It has been one hell of a year with so many things going on I have to actually sit here and think before I write to recount them all. I will make a list. Easier that way cause chronology isn't so important as getting it down somewhere.

> Went to first professional convention and I know for sure I'm in the right field because I had more fun there than I would've at ComicCon. Yes, amazing.....since before 2013 I was an avid ComicCon attendee, 7 yrs in a row. That was until tickets became impossible to get and the PR was more valuable than actual fanfare. Plus the cost is horrendous.

> Had my first Thanksgiving party at my place. Being a host is so much different than being a guest and it certainly felt good to give on a holiday where appreciation and good memories matter most. It was also last Thanksgiving at my old place. :(

> I moved in June.  Owner sold house and the 60 day waiting period turned into a 30 day get the fuck out because the staying in limbo and paying two rents was not going to happen. :rage: Plus we found the log cabin/house of our desires and it works. The old place, dubbed Bash an Idiot drive(will never forget that nickname for the street O_O), turned out to be a huge energy waste and it resembled more closely a Fort Knox with walls everywhere(which I wanted at time of move in), easily defensible landscape, but too much chaos. Too close quarters to others, no true privacy from other noise, a busy street nearby, kids everywhere, an inefficient AC that cost a fortune, and a yard that ate 1/3 of our water a month. We paid 60% more in utilities there. It was a great place and I loved it dearly while it lasted but there was just a lot that could be improved and most of it was when we moved out. *Insert expletives here about landlord and his client and I rest my case*. Greed won the day but it was time for us to move on anyway so whatever. Stagnant ad complacent was the energy there for us starting about 2 mon prior to move. It was definitely time for a change. I may have hated the move, still have a bitter taste over it that is slowly fading, but the harsh reality of it was I wouldn't have done as well for myself there and the progress would've stalled. We got out before disaster struck. I am thankful and have made peace with it 90%....the other 10% soon. :wow: (Yes this was biggest material change of year and one I will not soon forget but I do not regret it at all; we had 3 solid good years there with good memories :squee:) Oh and did I mention new place has rabbits, lizards, and a food chain designed to be natural pest control. A dedicated room to do my art, no AC to spend a fortune on, no yard to water, and a quick access to freeway. It works. ^_^ I love my new place and I am finally able to call it home. :wow:

> My sister is finalizing her transition. :squee: The gender re-assignment surgery she has been hoping for happened like yesterday!!!:squee::squee: No more waiting, no more uncertainty; the change will be done. The boy is gone and hopefully with it the rage and bullshit. I hope this hurdle for her is the one that will evolve her into her next phase in life. I have known her for 7 years, almost 8 and I have to say that the evolution so far has been momentous. When I met her she was a he and the propensity to scream, rage, throw things, and act petulant was almost a daily affair. We were both military and had shit to be mad about. Many trials happened with changes in schools, careers, 3 moves, and alot of therapy in the last 7 years to bring her to this point. I have been there the whole way and it has been one hell of a ride. I just hope the future is a lot more heavenly and has less drama. I am so over drama. I am so over live altering transformations and hurdles. I know this will be good for her. It is what she wants and her biggest dream. Now to see her through the recovery and hope more for that fantastic future. :tighthug: Through her trials we are both stronger and I thank every divinity out there for allowing this to happen. :tighthug:

> I have become a mentor, teacher, and advocate of the sword. I don't just do it for myself but now I try and help others to have that bond and foster the old ways before the harshness of modern warfare. Martial arts are more than fighting but inner growth, healing, and a strength of will unbendable by any obstacle. I wouldn't have made it through that move without this. I have gotten my first student and he is getting a sword very much like mine from the same swordsmith who I find to be brilliant. He is gifted and I advocate for him every way I can. Note me if you want to know more. I have found one of my many callings and to be a warrior is one of them. I rarely have back pain, I suffer fewer headaches than ever, and I now have a practice I can turn to that keeps me from popping a cork under stress. Long time coming but finally. It's my soul's truth and I am blessed to have a natural skill with a blade. It is art in and of itself and through it creativity flows. :wow:

> I treated my first patients almost solo this past semester. I have finished almost 3 years of school and I got through the biggest hurdle until boards. I passed the 2nd yr comps with flying colors and I am stoked :squee::squee::squee: I am so happy and I look forward to a year of not worrying much about anything big. I just want to learn, absorb, and help people. I learned so much from the clinic I was in(VA), and though I was suffering major PTSD due to the move(way too many forced moves in my life), I managed to do well and do right by the patients. I learned my true strength and that compartmentalization is a must have skill for a medical practitioner of any kind.

> Last but certainly not least: I HAVE DONE ART!!!!! I have actually pulled out pens and a lineart, (many many linearts) and am actually coloring......YES....amazing :wow: About bloody time after the worst art block ever for near 2 years. I hope to upload a bunch of colored works soon, including many by :iconrachaelm5:. :squee:

Many other smaller things/events happened too:

>Irwindale Ren Fair for first time in 8 yrs for 8th anniversary(FUN!!!!)
>There's a Hobby Lobby here :squee: Yay!!
>A fall that will never be forgotten happened and in hindsight is funny(thank god no complications) People must really learn to stop trying to be Wall-E without the right leverage is all I'll say. :D
>Bought and started reading non school related books again. Law of Attraction books by Esther and Jerry Hicks are my thing right now and they are well written and speak to me on a deep ass level. LOVE them!!! :heart:
>Ran into a freaking crate to do the first substantial damage to my car since I've had it(10 yrs) Bloody crates!!!*Kicks*
>Killed a brown widow 8 legged menace in my garage at new place yesterday and omg talk about facing fears. I will now look closer to ensure an 8 legged being is safe before allowing it to sit 6 inches from my entrance ever again. *heeby jeebies*
>Found serenity once more at the beach and have gone 7 times this year with only one minor sunburn(I don't go before 2pm)
>I have once again found pleasure in bookstores and have returned to my childhood passion of coloring. :D :heart:
>My first blood moon I could stay up for and watch in its entirety. Eclipses are awesome!! Energetically intense but awesome!!!

Lessons learned:

>Defense is one thing but prison is another
>Feeling unsafe in your own home is bad and should be a clue there's a problem
>AC is for wusses and computers; I do fine without it and spend a shit ton less on power bills by like 70%. Yay aloe!!:squee:
>Cats can be trained if everyone is consistent and boundaries are clear, even in a new place
>In order to be able to receive the gifts of the universe one must first be open to them and not obsessing over what they don't have, don't want, or lack. I am learning this the hard way and this day marks the day of a new way of thinking. I will not think of what I don't have and instead look at what I do, appreciate it, and hope/manifest/create what I do want. :D

Long I know but here are some features to brighten your day and make your eyes hurt less. The tl:dr version is the last year has been a bitch and a lot of good has happened and though at first some was bad and I was terrified, suffering, and grieving in June and July I have found my center once more and now art can once again come through the unlocked door. (<<<see I rhymed :squee). Ok ok ok my jabbering butt needs to hunt down features..............*comes back with these*:

Flamma Vitae digicolor by rachaelm5Flow by Two-TWheel Of Life by AmberCrystalElfPhoenix design2 background by amorphisss
Encroaching Dawn by rachaelm5The Future is Listening by Adolin-of-LightLord of the Dragons by Grafit-art
Sky Battle by shiny-shadows-ArtDouble Bubble Trouble by wolfepawautumn by erool
The Purple Rose by SansaXIXPurple Rain by feimoFibonacci Spiral Self-Portrait by PaintMyWorldRainbow

  • Listening to: Silence
  • Reading: School stuff
  • Watching: Being Human
  • Playing: Guildwars 2/Forsaken World
  • Eating: Aloe like candy
  • Drinking: Red Wine


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Shadoweddancer Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2017   General Artist
annewipf Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2016
Thank you for the watch!  Reindeer-sleigh-smiley-emoticon by Euselia
JCmyDrug Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
thank you for adding my works to your collection Love Hug
i´m happy , yeah Woohooooo! 
Meztli72 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday!!! :hug: :aww: :dance: Rainbow Striped Spinning Star a cow can dance better than u 
MissAmber2909 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks for the fave :)
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